Jim likes to tell people “Stop shoulding all over yourself!” Shoulding is unproductive and creates misery. Shoulding keeps you from doing what you really want to do.
It’s not easy to eliminate it from your vocabulary. We’re conditioned to take on obligations that “should” lead to happiness (I should go to school. . . should make lots of money. . . should start a family. . . should buy a house). Meanwhile, all this shoulding all over ourselves creates huge demands on our time, and brings our youthful dreams to a screeching halt. Then one day we wake up and realize we are trapped in the “Someday Syndrome.”
We can all use some help finding our way back to our dreams, and Alex Fayle’s new book, “Someday I’ll Get Around To It” is the perfect place to start.
Alex is a “Someday-busting Coach.” He helps people dust off their dreams, sort them out, and create a plan for obtaining the life they really want. His new e-book, “Someday I’ll Get Around To It” shares his strategies for someday-busting.
In this 100-page workbook style format, we learn how to make conscious choices to create happier lives that more closely reflect our dreams. Alex walks us through ways to overcome inertia and understand our limitations and obstacles. We learn how letting go of control will free up time and enable us to achieve our goals. And finally, his useful worksheets in the back of the book will help us draft simple, doable plans to help achieve our dreams in step-by-step increments.
Life is short. Live your dreams. And remember, you can’t justify putting your dreams on hold, by listing all of your obligations.
Because like Alex says, “In not pursuing your dreams, recognize that you are choosing not to pursue your dreams.”
If you are at all doubtful that Alex can help, just read about his life here. You can also read his interview with Jim and I.
Don’t wait for Someday.
Sell your crap. Pay off your debt. Do what you love.
Someday Syndrome E-book No Longer Available
EDIT: All links to the Someday Syndrome website have been removed since they now point to some dating spam blog. The e-book is clearly no longer available. As of this update, our interview is still archived on the Wayback Machine…
Taking Life on the Road: Jim Nelson & René Agredano Interview
14 thoughts on “Don’t Wait For Someday: Live the Life You Want, Now”
come buy a highlife from me tonight. i’ll be working the beer and burger station at the range.
I’ve always wanted to write a book as well, it would be titled:
“Don’t quit your day job to satisfy and unfulfilled dream because you are a valued member of our neighborhood and we need you to pick up the trash every Tuesday so the vermin don’t take over.” It’s a long title but for those who like to read it could prove to be a tantalizing thriller that explores living in the moment and being grateful for that moment. Live the life you want to live but take an honest look at the life you’re living, is moving to Australia going to change your nature? Yes and no if you’re not careful.
I deeply appreciate Mr. Fayle’s theme of pursuing the life you want now, now, now and what are you waiting for? But major or even minor life changes requires planning and budgeting, like it or not. Additionally I would add that our country (and Mr. Fayle’s Canada) still needs bus drivers, mechanics, hot dog vendors, plumbers, teachers and especially doctors who can travel up ones colon to ensure we’re not packin’ polyps (or at least the kind that kill), hey, I’m two years from fifty.
People can live colorful lives while providing a valued service to their community. No, it’s not bungee jumping in New Zealand or shark massaging in Fiji, but if you live in the moment and have made good professional and personal decisions then you can live a very full life without mapping a future that asks for exotic locales and people. Interesting and fulfilling lives are being lived everywhere, these lives however don’t get much press, they’re not extreme or shrill enough I would venture.
Sure, jumping ecstaticly in front of Louvre looks like fun and might be symbolic of personal freedom (Paris is not cheap) or dream achieved on Mr. Fayle’s part, but to me it’s less about the place than the person who has found meaning and fulfillment in the moment. But I agree with the premise, don’t put off the life you want to live, but my added spin would suggest that you take pause to understand if you’re not already living that life but all you really need is a good molting.
That’s right, a good molting, where you shed old behaviors and attitudes to find a fresh perspective that puts you in the zone of fulfillment by just making the most of the minute, hour, day, and so on. By really being there and doing that thing that you do but with real attention, or as Jess stated, “getting out of your way”.
The most fulfilled/happiest people I’ve ever met are neither rich or well traveled or well spoken or especially well educated, but rather people who take pleasure in their work and have something outside of their work that gives them deep personal pleasure. Something that gives their lives dimension beyond income like studying music, writing a poem, making wine, drinking wine, bar-b-que’ing, listening to Beethoven’s Missa Solemnis for the first time or even planning a trip to Paris to learn French on their soil, or, maybe just a good jump in front of the Louvre. Consider the Japanese tea ceremony, it takes years to master the subtle motions and order of those motions whereby over time one learns excellence rather than perfection.
Doing things in your community that you would never consider doing because of habit is a form of travel that costs the least and can sometimes offer the most and you never know who you’re going to meet. Oh, and if you do go for the 90 degree turn and it doesn’t work out, remember, books don’t take blame for outcomes.
But if things do work out and you’re cool with the scene you’ve created, then maybe you were ready for it.
Au revoir, Enrico!
I couldn’t agree with you more Enrico. I’m a big fan of the idea of “work to live” not “live to work” – and that often finding passion and joy happens in small ways.
Yes, I made a big leap across the Atlantic but otherwise I live a very small quiet life as a writer and English teacher. One of my best friends here works as a municipal gardener and is the happiest person I know.
“Someday” doesn’t have to be about big things nor does it require huge changes in one’s life – it just requires three things:
1) An awareness of what’s good and what’s not good in your life.
2) A simple plan to follow up on making it all good.
3) The dedication and willpower to make the change(s).
Big or small, conventional or unconventional, solo or with others – every dream is different but if it’s not realistic it’ll never happen and if someone keeps saying “someday” to it then that person will likely never feel satisfied with his or her life.
Thanks for taking the time for adding to the conversation in such a detailed manner!
PS Check out The Happiness Project book and blog for a really good look at finding happiness without making radical changes. http://www.happiness-project.com
I absolutely love this comment.
“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.”
Yeah! I totally agree! Life is too short to worry about what you should do, we really should all focus on what we want to do. Oops, did I just say “should”? HAHA…
Go ahead and be opinionated! Use should every once in a while and stir up a good debate. 😉
Love the message of this post: “Do what you love.” Will eventually make time to click through the links but I have dreams that need living right now and can’t be put off.
Loving what you do = Manifesting positivity. 🙂
Yay to living dreams – sounds like you don’t need the link. 😉
Amen to this! Sometimes living the life we want is all a matter of getting out of our own way.
I used to get in my own way a lot but I’ve learned to leave the ego at the door and it’s amazing how much happier and more productive I’ve become for it!
I SO need to get this book. This is one of my goals for 2010 – starting over, doing it my way. Thanks for the info, guys. 🙂
I hope that in 2010 you find exactly what you want – whatever it is!