I’m sorry, I just cannot get into the holiday spirit when it’s 80 degrees out with high humidity. OK, I haven’t had a White Christmas since I was a kid in New Jersey, but if I want one this year I’ll have to go to the beach. The white sand is the closest we’ll be getting to snow this year.
But, since it is Christmas Eve after all, here’s our little tropical holiday greeting from the Sunshine State …
Where I come from Fireworks are for the Fourth of July! But here in Florida, they get all pyrotechnic for the Holiday Winter Fest. Hell, why not? It sure feels like July … Merry Christmas to all, and to all Bah Humbug!
Ah yes, the vector infested tropical South, you go Jimbo (you go elsewhere says I)!
I completely understand where you’re coming from as I never developed a fondness for the many creatures (centipedes that have fangs and that bite like rattlesnakes, cockroaches, spiders, etc.) of Hawaii so you have my empathy on this one. Yes, it’s warm and the living is easy, however, when the armies of evolution’s evolvements pass the word around that warm is good (as insects have limited internal warming ability) then the party is on. The story goes something like this:
“I’m out of here Sam, this roach is done with New York City!”
“Whoa, Herb, think about what you’re saying, New York has some of the finest scraps an insect could want. Think about last nights trash at Les Hals, sure, the mint sauce was a big strong but the gristle from the lamb, mmmmm, second to none.”
“You’re a good roach Sam and I respect your ways and if any one of us has got a refined pallet it’s you, you’re the soma lier of sludge and I don’t say that lightly, but it’s a family thing, we’re getting tired of all of climbing, the feral neighborhood cats, the mice, and, well, you know, the competition here can sometimes overwhelm a guy whose trying to feed his 133 offspring. And besides, the wife can’t keep up with the demands of family, friends and Winters as well. Do you remember last Thanksgiving at Chez Papas on West 73rd?”
“Oh my food chain do I ever, what a feast, Turkey in an orange glaze with sprigs of rosemary. Yeah, I also remember that lazy dishwasher who didn’t seal the garbage bags, it was like a vermin spa day I tell you, what of it?”
“It was a turning point for us as the weather forced us deeper into the subway for the evening. The family gets a little nervous when traveling so far down as predator ratios get higher and the wife gets a little nervous for the kids. She’s also tired of the commute Sam, sure, we’ve got a nice place in the walls between a 10 story tenement on 120th, but the renters have been late on utilities and sometimes the place gets a bit cold, we’ve lost 22 boys this year alone. Sheila just wants out and besides, she’s got extended family in Florida who’ve said they’ve got plenty of room since the sub prime mortgage collapse. Turns out there’s a couple from California passing through New Jersey this weekend in a fifth wheel and we’ve decided to hide behind a panel next to the sink. Talk about clean living Sam, she’s a vegetarian so the family and I think there’ll be some serious trimming down, hey, a thin carapace is a good carapace (they both laugh).”
“Ah Herb, the warm weather and that sweet smell of fetid remnants, I’m jealous I tell you. Hey, do me a favor when you settle down, have a big dollop of coagulating grease for me, will ya do that for me?” “Sam, I’m gonna smear it all over these dirty tendrils just for you.”
And so they both embraced, the embrace of two friends who have passed through many a stove-pipe and grease trap together. Who both understand that each must chart out their destinies on their own terms.
And a good night was had by all, Eric.
Hey You 3…
Hope that you are taking in that nice weather! Not that we are suffering out in CA 🙂 Loved your card & this greeting was great too! Merry Christmas to you guys and A Happy, Healthy & most of all Safe New Year! Hope that 08 will bring to you, the Biggest & Best decisions ever!
Love you,