I’ve known for many years that it is inappropriate to use the word retarded. In the vast majority of senses that most people tend to use it, that is. Rene is always quick to remind me if I ever forget. So, when can you say retarded? I’ve figured it’s usually just best to use a different word. That’s because if it comes to the tip of my tongue, it’s usually regarding somebody’s stupid behavior. And that’s just wrong.

This whole retarded discussion is not a PC thing. And don’t event think this is “woke” because that’s another word we don’t need to discuss. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not referring to this discussion as retarded. That would be wrong. I mean this discussion about the word retarded.

But why am I even mentioning this here? Well, the topic came up on our recent visit to Wrangell-St. Elias National Park. Bear with me here. I’ll explain. Or rather, I’ll let the interpretive display we saw do the talking. that provided a perfect example of when you can say retarded.

When Can You Say Retarded?

According to the bot: Using the word “retarded” is inappropriate because it is an outdated and offensive term that has historically been used to demean and stigmatize individuals with intellectual disabilities. It perpetuates negative stereotypes and can be deeply hurtful to those affected and their families.

Duh. I might have been able to put that more eloquently myself, but I guess I’m just…uh, lazy.

Proper use of the word “retarded” is normally in a technical or historical context. It should specifically refer to something being delayed or slowed down, just not related to people. A chemical reaction, for example, can be retarded by the addition of a stabilizer. Or, there are the retarded trees we see everywhere in these parts of Alaska. And yes, you can say retarded in this sense. Because that’s what they are. I read it at a National Park visitors center. It must be true.

I noticed upon first arriving in the Mat-Su valley, that most of the trees looked – uh, well…can you say retarded here? No, I can’t use the R word in that sense because I had not yet learned about why these Black Spruce common to the area look the way they do. The evergreens in these parts are not the mighty pines, fir, and spruce I’m used to down in the Rocky mountains. That’s because they really are retarded. No, really.

Why Are Black Spruce So Retarded

You see, in areas like this permafrost remained near the surface during the tree’s early growth. This caused cold, shallow and nutrient poor soils which retarded root growth. As a result, this shallow retarded root system then reaches out sideways, unable to grow downward through the frozen ground. So, can you say retarded in this case? No, you can’t say these trees look retarded. Except in this one case, once you understand that their growth has been retarded due to a lack of nutrients in the soil stunting their growth.

Don’t get me wrong. Personally, I love these trees. Even if they are technically retarded. I spent a lot of time running trudging through these scraggly stands all winter. Remind me someday to show you just how much I love them, and what we’ve done to remember them for the rest of our lives.

However: No matter what you think about some of the people you see, things they’ve said or the certain decisions they’ve acted; no. Regardless of whether you think their development may have been stunted due to poor education or lack of socialization; no. You cannot call Willowbillys [sic] “retarded”.