In the book, The Complete Guide to Full-Time RVing: Life on the Open Road, by Bill and Jan Moeller, it is recommended that you stay away from any RV parks with the word “Resort” in the name. Should you see that word, rest assured, you will pay a lot more money than any nearby campground, just for some amenities.
But yesterday, my birthday, was a long driving day, full of wrong turns, close calls with construction barricades, backtracking, and hot sweaty weather. So after about 4.5 hours of driving, we caved in and parked for the night in Somerset, just inside the Wisconsin border across from the Twin Cities, where stripmalls meet farmland, and sports bars are the only entertainment.
We knew it was going to be cheesy just by the description in our directory. River’s Edge Camping Resort on the Apple River is a huge chunk of land with every Wallyworld type of amenity. “Tubing” down the river, miniature golf, waterslides, swimming pool, lots of cheap beer, and even a “Fine Eatery.”
What did we pay for the honor of staying in this “resort” off of a swampy, mosquito infested stream called the Apple River? $36 a night, for just the campsite, with only water and electric, no sewer. If we wanted to participate in the fun activities with hordes of screaming kids, that was $24 per person, per day plus another $13 for the site. And it didn’t even include the breakfast bay promoted in interesting locations throughout the campground. No thanks.
We were told we could swim in the pool, even though we weren’t paying for the extra fun that could be had. We went in the pool area, and saw this sign (read to bottom):
Our theory is that they had to have this sign because once people sat their butts in innertubes that floated down that skanky river, they got out full of bacteria and skin infections. Then they’d get in the pool. Ick!
In the local paper, we read about a lot of fights that happened last week when Korn played in the other tubing ‘resort’ in the area.
We spent one night there and got out before the weekend crowds showed up and the brawls started up. Never again!