Sadly, we will not be hearing any more comments from our dear friend Spoonie.
Cause And Effect
by Charles BukowskiThe best often die by their own hand
just to get away,
and those left behind
can never quite understand
why anybody
would ever want to
get away
from
them
Kris (Spoonie G) Krall
Feb 22, 1961 – April 3, 2008
What is one to say when they receive a voice mail from someone they haven’t spoken to in years, informing them that their dear friend is dead? How is one to feel?
Denial. If this is another one of your cute little jokes, we’re just gonna have to kick your ass.
Anger. Damn you Spoonie, we were always here for you! Why did you hide your true feelings? We just spoke last week and you were in such good spirits.
Surprise. You’ve been down that path of self destruction before. Far enough that this was expected, but that was long ago.
Guilt. Why couldn’t we help? How did we not know?
Grief. We will miss you. We’ll miss your smile. Your eyes. Even your phone calls at the most obnoxious hours. Damn how we will miss you.
Acknowledgement. At least you went quickly in your sleep, as opposed to some prolonged disease. Rest in peace you fat bastard.
Rene Writes:
Some people come into your life, and things are never the same again.
I look around at everything I’ve become, my world, my happiness, my husband, my adventures . . . and for all of these things, I owe a huge debt of gratitude to this big teddy bear. We spoke almost weekly, but I know I didn’t tell him often enough how much he meant to me.
Spoonie and I became roommates in 1992, during my 20-something party years in San Francisco. His easygoing personality made him the intermediary in roommate wars, the guy that nobody could get mad at. In 1995, he wanted to play matchmaker between me, and a new guy in his office, some long haired guy named Jim. Of course, his ulterior motive was to get me to move out so he could take over my room, the best one in the house. Six months after he brought Jim and I together at The Gold Cane, Spoonie got his wish.
He was easy to love, which made it incredibly hard for us to watch him walk down a path of self-destruction. Now that he is gone, I’m trying really hard not to be angry at him for leaving us far too soon. For whatever it is that caused him so much pain in life that he had to bury it in bad habits, I am glad that he is now free of those heavy burdens, smiling and hanging out with his buddy Timothy Leary, somewhere in the City.
Jim Writes:
Easy to love indeed … There was just something about this big lug that made you wanna laugh, or get drunk, or both. Spoonie was the most fun-loving, happy-go-lucky character I’ve ever met.
I often got on his case about sucking off the government teat, whenever he would ride out his unemployment to the max. But deep inside, a small part of me was always jealous of his free spirit and uncanny ability to eschew responsibility.
And I too owe this wonderful man a debt of gratitude. For without him, I would never have met René. Nor would I have known to “just keep her vertical” when she gets to drinking too much. That was his sage advice for me the night we went drinking for the first time.
There were many more after that, but it was always in good fun. I never saw how bad it got after his mother passed away a few months ago.
Anarchist. Atheist. Adorable. Kristopher was an avid reader. Of everything from Marx to Tolstoy. But Bukowski was one of his favorites. And there are a few beliefs of Charles’ which I know for a fact he embraced:
- “Never get out of bed before noon.”
- “Sometimes you just have to pee in the sink.”
- “Genius might be the ability to say a profound thing in a simple way.”
Oftentimes, the simplest things he said had such deep meaning. Like, “I love you Jimmy.” I love you too my friend.
This gentle giant was a genius indeed. His only fault was that he followed in his hero’s footsteps a bit too closely.
“There will always be something to ruin our lives, it all depends on what or which finds us first. We are always ripe and ready to be taken. ”
– Henry Charles Bukowski (August 16, 1920 – March 9, 1994)
A more recent photo of Kris holding Tom’s son Zach.
Another shining example of that infectious smile.
Update 04/09/08: An old friend and co-worker just sent this apparent self portrait Spoonie must have done long ago during his FWB days.
It was accompanied by a note about what a free spirit Kris was and how this illustration, “really captures him.” Indeed …
I would love to know if there is any kind of gathering to remember Kris.
Sam, you got the essence of Spoonie down to a T. Also, I have to thank you for clarifying why Spoonie got his name. Too funny.
I moved into 433 Arguello right after you left (you and I met once or twice after that). There was something special about that old flop house that made it such a great place to live, despite the holes in the bathroom floor and the mushrooms growing out of the moldy spots. The sunroom with the crooked floor was a great place to hang out.
You were one of Spoonie’s all-time favorite roommates there. I always wished I lived in the house when you and the original gang had occupied it. You were all legendary. When I moved out, I took a “Dukakis / Bentsen” election sign from the bathroom wall. Still have it to this day, it’s a great reminder of that 433 era gone by.
So many people were touched by Spoonie, all in different ways. It’s really beautiful to see that here. Thank you for writing.
I met Kris when I was 19 years old, and met him through Gaby Kruger, who I had worked with at the Pizza Boat at San Francisco State University. Kris and I lived together in the early-mid 1980’s in a flat on Haight Street, and in the late 1980’s living together in the up stairs flat in “historic” house on Arguello and Clement. We had lots of adventures in our formative years. He was a gentle giant, a supportive friend, and a rebel. I few of my fondest memories of Kris:
1) Alternating wearing his black overcoat and his blue satin Rockin Robins jacket when he worked as a bouncer there.
2) Elbow dancing at numerous parties we attended that our friend Gaby knew about, or at my bands shows.
3) Sitting on the back garden room in our Arguello residence covered by hundreds of baby preying mantis’ who had just hatched from the egg case I had planted a month earlier.
4) When my dog Buster broke his hip he had an x ray. Together we healed Buster carrying up and down several flights of stairs to use the bathroom. For many months Kris kept Busters x ray taped to his bedroom window.
4) Smiling and out of breath as he relayed the joy of participating in an Anarchist rally in Berkeley after “allegedly” assaulting a Coca Cola truck and liberating the cans of Coca Cola.
5) His pride in being an accomplished computer technician. He was constantly upgrading my apple computer and putting strange programs on it.
6) Double dating with Kris and his mom and my mom, when his mother was out for a visit from Missouri.
7) His living in the smallest room at Arguello, which was slightly larger than a closet for his size.
7) Kris rapping to the rap that pushed all limits on free speech, hence his nickname Spoonie Gee.
I haven’t seen Kris for several years. I am so sorry to hear his addictions could not be controlled, and eventually got the better of him. He liked to push his mind and body to its limits. I’m not surprised to hear that he passed away with a smile on his face.
Spoonie I’ll always love you like a brother. Thank you for the good times. Rest in peace. Dave you are right the world is a less beautiful place.
Kris’ mother, Wanda, died of pancreatic cancer on Feb 18th. His sister, Kim told me that they are not letting his dad know about Kris because he is also in ill health at the moment. They are planning to spread his mother’s ashes and Kris’ ashes in San Fran (out of respect for his mother’s wishes) in what I believe to be a intimate event for the immediate family only. At this point I think they are trying to find a quiet sense of closure.
Sam H. called me to let me know the sad news. Kris and I dated and lived together waaaaaaaaaaaaay back in the mid-to-late ’80s. He was my first love and a sweet man. He was a very heavy drinker/inhaler even back then. But I have yet to meet someone who was at once so comfortable with his addictions and so amused by them as well. I will never think of him as a tortured soul.
I have so many funny memories. My personal favorite – I was such a good Catholic girl when he met me. We had many lively discussions about religion and politics. He told me that me believing in Jesus Christ was like him believing in Thor, but that he loved me anyway – hahahahaha! He really expanded my world!
The last time I saw him was about 6 years ago. Kris came over to meet my then 14-month-old daughter. He commented that she looked like a “space alien” – but in a good way – you know Kris! I’m so sorry he’s gone but I’m glad he left with a smile. I would love to know how to get in touch with his mom Wanda if anyone has that info!
Spoonie knew more about suffering and compassion than just about any other human being i’ve known. The world is a slightly less beautiful place in that he was never able to overcome the Great Fear but it makes me smile to picture him sipping cocktails with Bukowski and Nietzschie at a special table in Heaven reserved for a peculiar type of great soul. God Bless oh my brother (and save me a seat)
I am so sorry that the world has lost a sweetie like Kris.
We were roommates while I was going to SFSU and lived at 433 Arguello with Sam and Peg (around 1988-90). We also both worked in a commune in the Haight that sold/repaired Macs (Abacus). I think I was the first and Kris was the 2nd non-commune member to work for them.
I haven’t seen or talked to Kris in years (probably since Sam’s wedding), but I will always have fond memories of him being a great part of my life in San Francisco.
Rest well Kris.
I don’t know what to say I am soooooooo sad. I got married in December and shared that with Kris as well as failed relationships,,,dated Kris for 5 years was not the “one” for me – always loved him nevertheless.
We still spoke monthly …..I think he is in a better place.
He will always be my in my heart and in my my mind as a beautiful person.
LOVE you Kris
Well I think I will miss his voice most of all, his calm deep voice saying “Julie Ray” the way he did. I saw him last October at a party where I got to meet some of his current friends, and as always, I was impressed by his amazing ability to fit into any crowd, always the nicest people, too. We were able to catch up, it had been years since we’d seen each other face to face. The first thing he said to me was, “you aren’t wearing your hair long” which is what he always said to me. Well, unfortunately, he won’t get to see me with my hair long. (I’ve been growing it out.) He had an acerbic wit, but I will remember him most as a true romantic with a gigantic heart. I loved him as much as the rest of you did.
I moved to the Haight in 1984. A night or two later I took my first walk down Haight St. The very first person I talked with was Kris, right out front of Nightbreak. From that chance encounter came many friends, roomates and even bandmates. His path crossed mine in quite a few ways:
He introduced me to the drummer Sam Herzberg, who later played music with me (Groovy Lion / Angry Bucket) and friends of mine (Mrs. Green).
His girlfriend was my roommate on Oak St., so I saw an awful lot of him!
His roommate was my girlfriend – so he saw a lot of me!
He was my student for two straight quarters at Heald College, where I had (jokingly?) encouraged him to go. As a result of Heald he went from doorman-type jobs to the computer industry.
Here’s a link to a painting he did in the Oak St. days. I rescued it from the trash when he was moving out. I always dug the “savage depiction of our corporate culture’s brutal disregard for human feelings”.
I haven’t seen Spoonie in years, but I will always remember him. We spent a few Saturdays configuring hard drives in the mid 90s. I didn’t have a clue as to what I was doing. It didn’t look like Spoonie had a clue when we started, but by the end of the day I had learned enough from Spoonie to keep me busy and causing problems for another 2 years. His casual approach to computer stress rubbed off on me and actually made me a better professional. It never occurred to me that it was strange having to drag him out of bed at random hours like 3 in the afternoon, he would lay in bed waiting for me to leave…after sitting in his room for a half hour he would finally be convinced I wasn’t leaving without him and the day would begin. I was/am sad to hear about our loss and hope everybody was touched by Spoonie.
So sad. I first met Kris when I was a teenager & he lived with my brother Sam and various roommates in SF. I always enjoyed seeing Kris and felt he was easy to connect with. He usually seemed happy, curious, and laid back. I would have liked to spend more time with him and I’ll miss him, even though I haven’t seen him in years.
Wow. I am shocked to hear this news. I only met Spoonie a couple times through you two, and he was obviously a legendary character. I remember the first time was Jim’s Bachelor party I think, and the morning after, we went to a Thai place for breakfast! I though that was so weird! I heard many stories about his antics,and even enjoyed reading his comments when he blogged in to this site. He will be soreley missed. and for you guys, I can only imagine the feelings you are dealing with. Jim and I lost another close friend a few years back, and he has never left our minds. He is just on a permanent vacation where we can’t contact him. I am sure Spoonie is mixing it up wherever he is. Can’t you just imagine his reaction to waking up in the afterlife, looking around and saying “Whoooooah. What a Trip!”
Rest in peace Spoonie. You will be missed, and obviously well remembered. Jim and Rene, I’m sorry for your loss. But he will be with you in spirit.
I graduated with Kris & shared a short stint at a junior college with him, and our friend, John, including some memorable transportation in the Blue Max, back and forth for a semester. I reconnected with Kris about 10 yrs. ago, after a chance meeting with his sister, Kim. We shared a lot of stories, did a lot of catching up and even got to see him a couple of times while he was on his way to Indy.
Sadly, we recently spent alot of time talking about our mother’s illnesses. I lost my mom in August ’07, and I think his mom started going thru alot of the same things shortly after. That was a roller coaster ride that went on for a little over a year through our conversations.
I envied Kris, too. To me, he was so smart but so down to earth at the same time. I envied his San Francisco life…I’ve heard alot about his friends there. I recently began thinking of going to see him when we all turned 50 and I’m sad that I waited too long to plan that trip.
For Kris’ family…he was so looking forward to Justin’s wedding, we talked about it every time he called. He booked our sofa again about 6 months in advance for a nite or two during the wedding trip. He talked about you all often, and was always positive.
I like your theory, Jim…we miss him!
Why indeed!?!? I have my theory, even if it is only how I want to frame what happened …
When we last talked, Chris was happy about a job interview he had. I’m thinking he got the job and went on one of his celebratory binges that we would do prior to “cleaning up” (a bit) for any new job he would get. I believe this was an accident and he was smiling that beautiful little grin of his when he passed out.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Please spare me any gruesome details indicating anything different.
I just got in touch with Kris a few weeks ago after being out of touch for over 24 years. He was my ‘puppy love’. We dated back in ’78. I recently sent him pix of us from that time & he quipped, “well, that’s the last time I wore hairspray. Those wings took flight!” Ha! We talked just last week of SO many things . . . losing his mom, the wonderful times we shared growing up (back when we thought we really knew it ALL), music, friends, how to cope. And he told me something SO wonderful. He thanked me for helping to form him into the man he was. What a compliment! What a shock to know he’s gone. I just found out tonite. I too have lost my mom years ago to cancer . . . so we could really relate to one another with that. We talked about that a lot. But why this . . . ? I just don’t understand. He was just such a free spirit.
Kris and I were close friends in High School, but had lost touch over the years. I recently returned to our home town and got back in touch with Kris through mutual friends. I talked to Kris not long ago about his mother’s passing, his riding out the unemployment, and his friends and relationships over the years. Like others, I envied his approach to life and his ability to laugh at most everything. I was looking forward to seeing him this summer for his nephew’s wedding. It’s been years since I’ve seen him but it’s good to know he was still the same old Kris and that he was loved by many. Brenda, if you’re reading this, you were always very special to him. He truly cared about you and valued your friendship. I’ll miss him…we’ll all miss him. Tragic…
so sorry, rene. he was unforgettable. no matter that you foresaw what his future might hold it still comes as a shock. rest in peace spoonie.
guys like spoonie will make us believe in angels!, rene, we are all dust in the wind !
Dude 🙁
I only knew Spoonie through you two.
He always struck me as a happy easy going fellow from what I remember of the few times we were together.
Very sad, Spoonie will be missed.
//AKC
I dont have any phone numbers nor emails from anyone that Kris kept in contact with – he never gave me them; we were talking about seeing each other at his nephew’s wedding this summer. Kris and I used to babysit for Justin when we were in high school. His sister, Kim, just called me today with the news. She is trying to contact his buddies from high school.
Thank you for the clarification Brenda. Please pass along this link to anyone else you may know from Kris’ past or home town.
Rene remembers Kris mentioning you. And he spoke of very few women from his past. Thanks for commenting.
Dated Kris in High School and we stayed in touch via phone and email. His correct birthdate is 2/22/1961. We graduated the same year.
Wow, guys.. uh, since there’s nothing I can say..